What is this??
I got up to get me some Coffee...and my legs won't hold me up...and they give way under me...and the pain is soooo intense that it takes your breath away. :o Ughh...I donno, but this is beginning to really worry me and make to believe that it is getting worse...not better.
Is it something that I am eating that is doing it...like an alllergy? I don't think so...this is too bad. But, on my own...I have cut Gluten off my diet...just in case that it is Gluten adding or something. This...is profound. I can tell it is bad. Something feels like it is TAKING OVER my muscles..and NERVES...And, the docs are NOT listening to me. :o
I have short term memory loss too, to go with it...and it is bad, with moments of confusion. I have a one second rule...If, I don't get what I need to say out...it is gone!! I lost it that quickly and that doesn't sound like anything simple to me. I do hurt so much, at the back of my neck and up in my head, where those liters run up the back of your head. I get cramps and knots in my neck that are H-E...They are just like the "Charlie Horses" you get in your Calf muscles. The only thing that I have found to combat some of it, is Moxibustion Oil that I can rub into my muslces. And...my TENS UNIT, which I use...if, the Migraines get tooo bad. Helps some.
I have moments of intense emotion too. I feel edgy, irritable, angry, sad and my skin will feel tight on my whole body. I have extreme pains that hit in my head...and mostly on my temples and I use Peppermint Essential oil. I rub it on my temples, over. But, I believe the emotional aspect of it...is the Addison's...and those HORMONES. >:o
What is this??
Oh Lord, you know that I am grateful to be here. I sure could use some prayers from you guys...if, I could ask for some please.
This has been going on 6+ yrs. now...probably longer, since I can't keep track of time, place or anything...it seems. I wonder what it is going to take...to find what the cause is to all of this. I don't believe it is the Addison's..or the Fibro that is affecting me with those symptoms...but what? Why do my legs hurt so bad...and so much? All day...and all night.
I am so tired Lord. Please, help me find that Doc that is going to help me find my way...back to me. :)
I tell ya...I am Really worried @ what is attacking ALL of my muscles...EVERYWHERE...not just the legs. IT HUTS ME TO REACH FOR SOMETHING EVEN!! But, it is making me not be able to walk and a person, to get something done...has to be able to WALK. It is bad..I tell ya...and only feel like it is getting worse. I donno what to do. I can't find a decent doc...to tell me what it is. This...is profound, but I don't believe it is the Fibro. It feels so profound like my muscles are deteriorating or something.
Maybe, I need some different kind of Doc or something...like a nutritionist or Functional Medicine Doc. Maybe, an Naturopath could get me back to me and figure out what is doing this. I do know one thing...WHEN, I went to see a Traditional Chinese Doc...and he done Accupuncture on me and gave me some shots...in each of my legs...I could walk and I smiled from not being in ANY PAIN. :o He told me...after, I explained what was going on with me...that he would make me feel 50% better....HECK, I FELT 100% better...almost, but I was in UTTER MISERY before this guy done this!! He gave me...me back...in one session of ACCUPUNCTURE!! But, the bad thing is...that it only gave me three days of relief...and IT ALL came back, but I was sooo grateful. I will take any kind of relief from this agony...that no Docs are seeing how bad it really is. The have electrocuted me so much..with those stupid EMG test. And, only show that I have a pinched nerve..in m neck. I believe that...and funny thing is...that ALL of this started, AFTER I had that Spinal Diskectomy of my C5-C6. *( ACD & F)
Another thing that the TCM Accupuncturist done for me is that I was so incontinent...that I was wearing pull-up pads. YES, I was having to stay in bed and wear a baby diaper. :o He made it stop for a month...then, it slowly started back...and all from putting the needles in the right place. He knew where to place them...and would show me...after, he put the needle in...how, the pain was gone from where he was trying to fix. IT WORKED ...and I CAN'T EVEN GO TO HIM. :o I can't go see him when I want, because the Insurance won't cover it. WHY?? It covers Chiropractor services...so, why theirs and not an Accupuncturist? Isn't it an on-going therapy,...just like a Chiro does???
HOW CAN I GET MY INSURANCE TO COVER MY ACCUPUNCTURIST?? THERE HAS GOT TO BE A WAY. I WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT AGAIN. I FELT SO GOOD...AND SMILED, EVERYWHERE WE WENT THAT DAY. AFTER, MY VISIT WITH HIM...I FELT ALIVE AGAIN!! HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING...HE TOLD ME WHAT I HAD WRONG WITH ME. I DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY A THING @ WHAT I HAD WRONG!! I WANT TO GO BACK TO SEE HIM, BUT JUST CAN'T AFFORD...$60 A VISIT. HE IS AMAZING AND SHOULD BE RECOGNIZED FOR HIS ABILITIES TO CURE PEOPLE..OR AT LEAST, GET THEM ON THE RIGHT TRACK TO BE HEALED. I HAVE FAITH IN HIS WORK.
I can tell that this is bad...And, the docs are listening to me either. IT is just so much maybe...that they don't know where to look or how, to figure it out. IT is a LOT!! It is like they don't hear me or something, when I tell them I HURT like H-E all the time. My legs pull, ache...hurt deep in the tendon, muscles...and bones. Ughh and the cramps just won't stop!! I have cramps in the arch of my feet even. Sometimes, they feel like they have been shackled for a week. They feel horrible at times...and all that I can do is rub them..and keep the bed going. I keep the massager, on my bed running almost all the time..because it helps me deal with the pain. :'(
Could this be the Chiari Malformation or the AVM that I have in the back of my head? The CM is 6.5 mm in length and the back of my head/neck hurts all the time too. The AVM is in the left Cerebullar Hemisphere...and always feels PULLED back there...and so does my hair, at times. I have sore spots on my head, nodules, knots...and pressure too. I experience horrible head pain, besides headaches. They hit mostly on my temples, but sometimes when my head is sore...I have a goose egg. The Goose Egg...is where I hit my head, from a Car accident back in '95. Could it be the problem? My eyes stay blurry too, like there is pressure behind eyes...but, one Eye Doc said that he didn't see anything wrong. Well, that was one. I had one thing happen, to where I had to make a quick trip to see a different Eye Doc and he saw things differently. I was seeing a pencil eraser type thing, in my left eye, even when I shut my eyes. It was like a blue tear drop...and that Eye Doc said that it was a Scatoma. Something to do with the Circulation of blood vessels up there. Great!!....Well, I have an Empty Sella too and something called a MASTOID EFFUSION...and they didn't tell me what those things were. They could be related, but if...the Docs don't tell us anything...how we gonna know what to make of all of it.
My legs stay tensed up and tight. I find that I keep them bent..most of the time. It helps it not to hurt under the knees as much or bad. Then again, I have found them straightened out...in bed like a board...and the back of my knees..where the hamstrings are...feel like someone is scraping all the innerds out with a spoon or something. They are killing me. :/
Any of you guys think of what this could possibly be..since, no doc can come up with the answer?? :P I will take any good ideas...just to see if, they could possibly match up...in any way. To do this, I at least need a name of a GOOD DOC that could dx me...if, anyone knows of one. There has to be one out there somewhere...to help me. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this!!
I have short term memory loss too, to go with it...and it is bad. I have a one second rule...If, I don't get what I need to say out...it is gone!! I do hurt at the back of my neck and up in my head. I have moments of intense emotion, but I believe ALL that it is just the Addison's...and those stupid HORMONES. >:o
What is this??
IS THIS...the CM, AVM, Neck Surgery, Jaw Surgery, the Addison's, the Fibro, the C2 Scerlotic lesion. the 5 herniated disks in my Thoracic...or maybe it is the T3-T4 compressed fracture??? OR is this a totally different animal? Could this be any of those...OR what could it BE???
IF, I just knew which direction to go...to get the answer.
I forgot to mention the Involuntary Muscle movements. I know one NL, he definitely wrote that one SYMPTOM down. I will jerk all of a sudden. It seem to be my right shoulder mostly...and my right index finger. It will hit the mouse on it's own...and I have to hold my hand, to keep it from hitting the mouse. This is really making me wonder, if it is MS or Parkinson's.
I have a fine Tremor too...which feels all over, but more prevalent in my chest. I do notice that when, I use my muscles they shake more. Sometimes, they really get bad and I remember one time, in particular. I was awakened at 3:30 am a couple of weeks ago and IT felt like intense hard rain falling on me....all over. IT was creepy, but I just sat up in bed and was trying to figure it out...when, my face...which, is already numb...begins to feel more intense. I thought, I would get up and move around, but when I did...my eyes got dark. I thought at first, oh...this is just my sugar being low, but NOOO....I was going to faint. I didn't know what was going on. My whole body was tingling like "the hard rain" feeling, even more...and if, I didn't lay on the floor...I was going to hit it. So, I lay there on the floor...praying that if it is my time...that The Lord take me on. I was scared to death...and felt like I was dying. But, I don't remember just how long that I did lay there, but I made it up...and my eyes got dark again and I felt like I was going to faint again. I made it close to my husbands side...and felt like I whispered to him, "Gary, I need to go to the Hospital...you need to call 911". That is all that I remember and I did lay on the spot, I was in and he covered me up with a blanket and put a pillow under my head. I again, don't remember how long that I was there, but I felt like I just woke up and got on the closest area...which, was the sofa. I woke up the next morning...and felt fine. My husband, Gary didn't hear me say those words and it makes me wonder, if I couldn't talk...or didn't talk. ?? I don't know. I just know that I made it through that time, but what if it happens again?? Will it be it? I have got to find the answer to why.
Today, I am just feeling so hopeless and sad. I know that I shouldn't. I am blessed more than some others, but worried that I could do something to change this and turn it all around, but what??
My legs are getting to where they won't hold me up...and they are giving way under me...and the pain is soooo intense. Oh,..I donno what to do...IF, I use my muscles...I pay...and IF, I don't use them...I hurt. Then, if I lay in bed they pull, ache, sting, burn and Cramp...ohh, it is a viscous battle. It hurts me TO use the muscles...and it hurts me NOT to use the muscles. :P
I am learning @ Indian herbs and taking the Goji & Shizandra drops for the Addison's. I got me some Shatavari, for the Migraines. I am thinking...IS there any way possible that I could do some...or ANY Yoga?? Maybe, it might be a slow process, but believe it could help me...if, I could do it. I believe that I could...IF, I could remember to do anything. I am so tired and weary. I don't have anyone who could massage them or tell me what could I do to help it or possibly cure it. If, only I could see my TCM man...then, maybe things would go back to the way that they were.
I use Epsom Salts in my bath..and essential oils and they do help, but so temporary. But this is beginning to really worry me and make to believe that something is definitely attacking my muscles and makes me feel that I have a brain tumor or something. Please God tell me that I am gonna be alright.
I need some prayers please. I feel like this is slowly moving forward...like something is taking over my body!!! I need to put a STOP to it...some how, some way. I will get well some way..."Lord Willing".
Take care all...and I pray that you take advantage of being able to move,..walk. Feel blessed IF, your world doesn't seem to be caving in..on your health. I will get through this...I hope and pray. You never know what is coming. Take advantage of each and every day...and feel blessed that The Lord blessed you with it. He will fix me...I know. I just have to be patient...and He will.
I am blessed that I know The Lord. He helps me get through each and every day. Without Him...I would be so lost and not have any sanity. Who knows...with the pain that I have experienced...it is a wonder that I am still here. With His helping Hand...I pulled through so much of it, because He comforted me.
I know that He does everyday...and know that it was He...that has kept me here. There is a reason...to why that I am still here. Maybe, He has something that I still need to do. I hope that so much...and I do feel blessed that He loves me and is changing me. He is preparing me..I know that and getting my soul ready to join heaven one day. Sometimes, it takes going through the fire...to be purified. I understand. Thank You Lord!!
Sorry, if I repeated anything or sounded confusing to you...welcome to my world. My everyday life is a challenge...and just want to not hurt anymore...and to be able to sing again. Oh, how I would love to be able to get up, get dressed and be productive...in a pain free world..again. It will happen, I just have to believe. Eyes getting blurry...got to go for now. Well, talk later...I pray.
God Bless all...and if, you do anything...Find God. He is The Only Answer...to any problem. We will get through life...Yes, we will. :)
